He took a dive on muddy freezing water ,and it was the best sensation ever....compared to the pain of his life this was actually refreshing. He saw them come and go, he saw them come and conquer the World, he saw them come and living the life he always wanted. He couldn't fight like them because he didn't have the same tools. The day that God armed them with right instruments he couldn't make it on time, so when he finally got there, God was gone and he was thrown to the Lions and had to fend for himself...still he had a good Heart which was divided between two worlds. The World of Black and White and the World of Colors a.k.a past and present. He was addicted to dwelling on the past, living there was so painful but he couldn't release himself... the present was unknown and unconfortable,each day that went by felt like a hundred years the same as the previous one, he was stuck and with nowhere to go life wise, so...he took a dive on the muddy freezing waters of the present and had the best sensation ever, he felt Alive.
It's eating me Alive, fuck! It goes from my heart to my being. It devours everything it finds in its way...It twists my freaking emotions, it makes me go from sweet to sour to rotten. It makes me want to kill somebody, it makes me want to cut off everybody from my life, it turns me into a Monster even monsters would be afraid of. I hear those sounds! No, I don't want to hear it again! Its the sound of my Soul crashing, reaching it's melting point. My so-called friends suffocate me, my beliefs suffocate me, my religion suffocates me, smiley faces suffocate me, don't cross my limit only i'm allowed to...when Life suffocates me, I will die.