Your skin reminded me of silk, even though I only touched it once just by looking at it I could tell it was as soft as a cloud. Its color was so pure and milky I could almost taste it. Your blue eyes pierced through my being and as a bullet they got stuck in my heart. Your nude lips were shaped to perfection which made me want to bite them everytime I thought of you.And back then that was all I could do:to think of you. Right now, I´m aware that you crossed my path so many times and I didn´t see you, we were at the same place at the same time with the same people but I was blind.It´s like you never existed until I saw you...and that day, I saw you. You were seated right in front of me, and boy you looked really scared! I thought that was hilarious, given the environment we were in. I tried to get your attention just by staring at you, but you were smart and you knew exactly what I was doing so you didn´t even look in my direction, you should´ve known that I love a challenge! So I got up and left you there by yourself as scared as you were in that tiny hallway. I spoke to so many people afterwards that I almost forgot about you...ALMOST. I came back and sat on the exact same spot and this time you looked at me in an exasperanting silence, that silence spoke louder than any person could ever speak. You were dying for me to talk to you, and who was I to take that pleasure away from you? "Hi"- I said to you, and you smiled no teeth showing. "How´s it going?" I asked. "Fine" you answered in a very thick accent."Oh,you´re not from here!" I instantly said, "How can you tell?"-you joked. We instantly conected with each other, mainly because our eyes and smiles were synched. Out of the blue you asked me if you could take me somewhere special, at the time I thought that was the worse pick up line ever, and I said no. "You don´t even have to leave your seat", I was totally confused and that´s when you got up and sat right next to me. For some reason I wasn´t scared, au contraire I felt very eased up and I thought it was from the champagne."Hold my hand!"-the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, obediently you took my hand and I remember how cold your hand was, almost too cold. We became one at that moment, you felt me and I felt you...and what I felt from you was a fear of being hurt, a fear of not being able to fly away, a fear of not being able to be free. I grabbed your face and promised to teach you how to do it, "How can you teach me to be free?" you asked me with a low voice...I got up and left the room never looking back, I knew you were an Angel and I wasn´t going to fall for it and so I didn´t. Now that I know you´re happy and flying up in the sky I can answer your question: I´ll teach you to be free by letting you go.
where do you go when you feel alone in the World? what do you do when you don´t have anyone to protect you? how do you feel when you realize it? do you stay in the gutter? or you gonna try to make it better once again? How many times can you make yourself feel better? where did you leave your dreams? as a matter of fact what are your dreams? do you still remember it? do you still dream? why do you think so much? why don´t you just do it? why don´t you back to school? why don´t you have parents to support you while you do it? why can´t you see your talent? why don´t you let it shine? why didn´t you have your parents unconditional love? why can´t you just tell everybody to fuck off? why do you allow them to come this close to you? where are you now? what are you doing there? what have you become? what were you? when are you leaving? where are you living? do you call this a life? why do you criticize them when you are doing exactly the same? where´s your sense of humor? where´s your sense of self? what do you know about me? do you want to know more? do you know how much is 365x 12? do you know how much time you´ve wasted? do you want more out of life? how much more? do you think you´ll make it? how far? how long? do you feel trapped by life? are you still breathing? are you still talking? are you still thinking? are you still being? shut up.
She always enjoyed contemplating the Moon, so amazingly Royal up in the Sky...but that was also a problem it was up in the sky not at arms reach. She tried many times to go from little star to little star, she took rides from shooting stars to get there faster but couldn´t seem to get there,it was still to far. Every night she would gaze up at it,and define new routes and ways to get there, one after the other all the plans failed. She became extremely unhappy, specially on the nights of New Moon ,when her most adored thing in the World wouldn´t even show up to say hi. One night , with her telescope in hand admiring the Full Moon with tears in her eyes and sadness in her heart it started pouring and she just stood there,rain mixed with tears, rage mixed with love, poetry mixed with energy. She walked inside and decided it was ok to admire the Moon from afar and never touch it.Finnaly she still loved it but was very happy with the Earthly things that she could touch.
-You know that feeling of really wanting something? -Of course! Who doesn't? -Well, how about when you get it? How do you react? -I get extremely happy obviously! -Hmmm....is it that obvious? -Wait a minute, you're confusing me...If you really wanted something and then you got it you should be happy. -What if it's not something material? -Then you should be even happier. -I'm not. -What is this about? -It's about us,there I said it... -So you don't want to be with me? -I thought I did, I mean I think I do, but I´m a mess now. -You´ve always been a mess ,so what else is new? -It´s different this time, I´m totally infatuated with you but this emotional turmoil is taking over me ,I need help. -I can help you! -No you can´t ,it has to come from within. -But, what about me? - I need to focus on myself , as much as I want to be with you I need to find out who did I become and what kind of person would I have to be in order to be happy. -You´re perfect to me, just the way you are. -I´m a perfect imperfection just the way I am. -I never asked you to change. -I need to change for me, not for you or the World. -Are you sure that I can´t help? -I´m positive. -Now what? -Now I´m going this way. -Will we meet again? -If our wants and needs are in synch then, I´m sure we will.
No one knows when the phenomenon starts....one day you wake up and its inside you like a really bad disease or like a really good drug, at that point you can´t tell the diference...but you will, when they come asking for what´s theirs, YOU are theirs, YOU sold yourself, your body ,your soul,your BEING.
They make you believe that you are IT, there´s no one else in the word like you, you are unique, you are perfect...soon enough you´ll realize the speech changes to: "you are perfect BUT we need to fix your chin, you´re perfect BUT you need to lose 20 pounds, no one in the world looks like you BUT we need to make you look like that person, so lets dye your hair blonde,you´re unique BUT try to act more like the others do . Trust us, that will make you rivers of money."
What they "accidentally" forgot to tell you is that even if you do all these things there´s always someone ready to stab you not in the back but in the face to make you disapear just as fast as you appeared. They also "forgot" to tell you that it´s all make believe.They forgot to mention the times you will spend alone , the times you won´t work, the times you won´t be able to help yourself let alone your family.
They mentioned that you would be famous and live a glamourous life...what´s so glamorous about being in magazines and in the spotlight and feeling terrible on the inside? Remeber Edie from "Grey Gardens"? Remember the song she sang? "You oughta be in pictures..."-what good did that do for her or for that matter YOU?
Well you are in pictures, people know your name,they know what you do...but they don´t know who you truly are. The real you, that talks to herself the real you that looks in the mirror and can only see the exterior image ,because she´s been through so much mutation...they asked for it right? And you were so naive that you changed to a point where you don´t remember who YOU are,you only know what you do.
I wish everyday that they stop selling the dream , I wish they will stop messing with inocent people that have nowhere to turn to...God Damn...just do ur math:is it really worth it? Everyday day the percentage to pay is bigger. Ultimately people pay with their inner peace, body, and even their life. The choice is yours: are u in or your out?...I´m out.
Feeling strong , feeling weak, feeling it. Every little bit of your skin is tense, your brain is aware and awake.
You squint your eyes , there´s sweat drips all over your body tears streaming down your face ,you can´t tell which is which. Everything hurts, but its an exquisite pain,that pain feeds you...-"If it burns and hurts it means that it´s working"-that´s what you heard throughout your life,so you keep going ...going faster, giving it all you have and what you don´t have. Your feet start slowing down, I come at you, you duck and fall. Now you´re on the ground , it´s not your choice to stay there or get up. Your body and your mind have to become one in order for you to have the strength to do it. Your mind says: "Get up now!" your body says: "Stay down", who wins that battle? The mind! You see me, I look confident and cocky because you just fell...jab,cross! you get me in the face, you get your little stride back. My lip is bleeding I don´t like it, but I bite more into it so it hurts and my rage builds up. You can tell I´m about to come at you full force. Are you ready for me? You better be... Look in the Mirror, who´s there? Just me, just you...you is me,but who´s me? Me, the one that fights against herself everyday and every night, taking it to the next level . Remember when you thought you had a limit? You don´t... At least not anymore, not while I´m there to guide you...that me,is you.