Desperation.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures"- I´ve always heard this phrase, but never really analized it. How desperate do you have to be ,to do something that you disagree with? Does desperation give you warning signs? Is it a sudden thing, or does it brew in your brain for a while and one day...BOOM! it´s done. For those who know me, it ain´t weird that I think about these things. But for those who don´t , you´re probably thinking "what is she desperate for? what did she do?" - nothing, is the correct answer. I usually have random thoughts, and the "theme du jour" happened to be desperation. There´s people who are desperate for: attention, money, fame, love, food, vacation, acknowledgement ,etc...and it´s very easy to cross the thin line that divides "healthy desperation/ unhealthy desperation". The division of these two worlds lies in what you are willing to do to accomplish the thing you are desperate for. Everybody, at some point of their lives is desperate for something, usually it´s for attention. Some people scream to get it, others send subliminal messages, some get naked, others cry, some write...(me), and then there are the ones that don´t do anything even though they want to, they are able to control themselves and their impulses, which makes me wonder "HOW CAN THEY DO IT?". The times that I controled my desperation towards someone, I ended up sending it into someone else´s direction. Where was I going with this text?...I don´t know...shit. I guess I was just desperate to write. Ok, bye now.

B.S.

Crazy Saturday, the Saturday where she had enough. She cried the whole night after she realised she meant nothing to him, but he kept pretending. When it hurts that bad, the only thing that can ease up the pain is usually more pain. A painkiller can make you forget for about 30 minutes, you laugh, cry, laugh, cry, fall asleep. Die. And when you die, it´s hard to make you live and believe again. He knew all of this, she told him...time and time again. How many times, can you warn someone that you are drifting apart? Usually the amount of times you warn them is proportional to how much you love them, therefore the amount of times your warnings are ignored should be proportional to the lack of interest. "Why is he pretending? Is he afraid to be alone? "- she asked the mirror. The mirror did what mirrors do : it reflected her raw image. The image of a woman in pain, with swollen hurt eyes, disheveled hair and a broken soul. Crazy Saturday, the Saturday he had enough. He ignored her,and her crazy shit the whole night when he realised she loved him too much. When you really don´t care ,there´s nothing you can do to go the other way. You need no distractions, because you already have enough, everything is more important than the person you´re ignoring. She knew he didn´t care, he showed her...time and time again. How many times , do you have to show someone that you couldn´t care less? Usually the more you show them, the more they are into you, and the more they are into you ,the more you have to hurt them. "Why doesn´t she get it? Is she afraid to be alone?" -he asked the mirror. The mirror did what mirrors do: it reflected his raw image. The image of a man who doesn´t care, with dazed eyes, long hair and a broken soul.