Overjoyed

Wow! I can't remember the last time I felt this way! And it feels sooooo GOOD!!!

I owed it to myself for almost a year,and even though I had some happy moments, the happiness never quite stayed...and this time is for real! Because like Marilyn Monroe said:"I restore myself when I'm alone".

I don't have everything that I want,nor have I acomplished all the things I wanted to acomplish so far...but its not too late! I have great friends, I live in Manhattan, I'm a good person (I think,lol),my family is healthy and I'm living a drama-free life!

Last night I had a blast with my good friends,we howled to the Moon,my voice is gone,we made fun of people(that doesn't make me a bad person,lmao),and I found out my social skills are not rusty after all, I'm not that aproachable in general but I had this amazing vibe going on,and I think the right people felt it!

I made the decision to not expect anything from people,because that's a mistake we usually do,we expect from others what we give them!I lived like that for so long,I expected people to have the same respect for me,to pay attention to me like I payed to them,to be grateful as I was,etc...And usually we expect it from people who don't have that capability...Now, you can do one of two things,accept them as they are and be unhappy forever because you hate their ways,or move on and more compatible people will come along.

Being single is the best thing that could've happened to me.A year ago I would've told y'all otherwise,but since I'm alone I started focusing more in myself and the things that are really important in life. That's what was missing in my life,ME! And once you feel confortable in your own skin,good things start to happen,and the right people start making their way into your life,trust me. It took me so long to be able to look in the mirror and to notice the person that was there. I'm defenitly not perfect,but I accept my flaws and I'm willing to change some...for Me! Not for someone else.

I am HAPPY! For real! =)

p.s- I guess everything does happen for a reason!

Marilyn Monroe

I`m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.

I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.

I restore myself when I'm alone.

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.

My Day so Far ...

Meditation-Chanting- check

Gym- check

Supermarket- Check

Dry Cleaners- check

Read 150 pages of a book-check

Read some facebook status and shook my head in disaprove-check (I have like 700 friends so go figure)

Cooked an amazingly healthy lunch (steamed vegetables and fish)-check

Jackie's coming to town- CHECK =)

Amazing night in the Making- DOUBLE CHECK!!! =D

Is the World coming to an End?

I woke up this morning with an sms from my brother talking about the 8.8 Earthquake in Chile ,I could not believe it,and I couldn't go back to sleep,(even though I went to bed super late last night,and I'm extremely tired) thinking about all the tragedies that have hit the World lately,and I can't help but wonder if This is It? Are we doomed? Is this how it Ends? A series of Natural Catastrophes until there's nothing else,or no one else in the Planet?

I wouldn't be surprised,the Human being has totally ruined the Environment,and some people don't seem to understand the need to recycle,and the conservation of Non-renewable resources.We need to use the Natural resources we have available to us,such as:
-Agriculture—agronomy is the science and technology of using plants for food, fuel, feed, and fiber.
-Air, wind and atmosphere
-Plants
-Animals
-Coal, fossil fuels, rock and mineral resources
-Forestry
-Range and pasture
-Soils
-Water, oceans, lakes, groundwater and rivers

I don't know if it's still possible to retract all the damage mankind has done,people would have to do a 180° turn,and some folks are either dumb or not informed enough. What I do know is that we can delay the destruction for many,many generations to come.

I would love to have babies in the future and see them play as I once played without a care in the World,I would love for them to see all the animals I've seen , I would love for them to be able to lay in the Sun and not get skin cancer from the Ozone depletion...but guess what? Maybe this won't come true...some of you are probably thinking "How dramatic!why is she being a drama queen?" -I'm not,I'm being realistic.

Think about it.

Excuse me! Do you know where's the Unknown?

Today,I woke up in great spirits,maybe because I went to bed with all my missions acomplished,I did my taxes,and I finished a four day shoot in San Francisco (which went great by the way,amazing team) and I felt super happy...I even had butterflies in my stomach(ahahahah,don't know why) and that made me feel adventurous for some weird reason.
The Art Director on set was talking about her trip to Bali with her husband,and they were there for a month!!!!!!!!HOW LUCKY???
They had an hotel booked for four nights,then after that they rented a motorcycle and just went from there.AWESOME! Backpacks,motorcycles,getting massages everyday at the beach, I could totally live like that!
Actually I want a trip like that this year!It doesn't have to be with a boyfriend or a husband,lol,just with a great friend,or even my brother...OR EVERYBODY!!!and just explore the Unknown.Not to a city where I know everything about,I want to go deeper than that,to a place where I usually would think three times before going.
I work too hard for my money (which just seems to fly away, God knows where =P ),so why not just invest some of it in a great vacation?One of those to remember!!!
Life is too short to live through others,like my friend Tiago Lobo says:
"DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING,DO EVERYTHING!"

P.s- For the first time in my Life I have made some "short term planning"!I have so many things to do in April,right after I'm done with Fashion Week Portugal I am coming back to the USA and taking over...be ready!ahahahahaah!

Love -according to Anthony Hamilton

"I know I can sit here and I can talk about it cause i've experienced it, and im feelin it, im livin it right here right now, I got somebody who loves me for me, got somebody who loves me for me,
I know sometime I have to realize that sometimes its about compromise, and you can't always have your way, cant always have it your way, love is about realizing and love is about redirecting your decisions,wether to go out all night long or go home to the one you love, its about taking care of your family, and taking care of your kids, and holding your wife at night and letting her know that the bills will be paid
on time and that you look and you listen to her cause its about love, say love, say love "

song:
"I Know What Love's All About"

Can I ?

I'm wondering if its right to let the past take control of my life...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q-Q5ibCoLM

Hmmmm....maybe not. =)

speechless...

-Hello?
*Hey,did you get it?
-Yes,Thank you!!!Chocolate covered strawberries...how did you know?
*I guessed (chuckles)
-Well,don't spoil me to much,I may get used to it.
*Hmmm...you don't seem like the spoiled type,that's why I feel like doing it.
-...
*Are you still there?
-Yes,I was just thinking if I'm spoiled or not, I am a little,but not with things,just in my actions,ahahahah!
*I still have to see that side of you.
-Or not...
*When are you coming back?
-Tomorrow night,really late though.
*Are we still on for Saturday?
-After the white chocolate and the strawberries how could we not?
*Ahahahahah,you're funny...I'll call you.
-Bye.

"Any Resemblance to Existing Persons or Situations is Purely Coincidental"

JAT Eyewear Campaign

Thanks Everybody!!!I love it!!! <3

Nice words =D

This morning when I got to work I had the nicest e-mail from my brother,just saying how proud he is of me,and my recent posts on-line! He likes what I write and he said he sees Evolution in my personality,do you know how great that made me feel? I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day,I still have it (6.13pm Pacific Time)=).
Which brings me to my point today: We Need to Let others know how awesome we think they are! You never know,you may make a shitty day really turn bright! I don't care what people say compliments are super important. If you don't like something about someone you'll probably let them know (I do! lol),so why not tell 'em how great they are,or how amazing is something they did?

I do it pretty often,not as often as I should though,I enjoy sending flowers for no specific reason,or just make my friends feel like they are the Greatest!

So go ahead,shoot someone you like a friendly e-mail,sms or phone call...just because.

Life is Today my People,don't forget that!

The Thrill is Gone-B.B. King

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you'll be sorry someday

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good
Someday I know I'll be over it all baby
Just like I know a man should

You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's over
All I can do is wish you well

Potential

meaning: (n.) Anything that may be possible; a possibility; potentially.
(a.) Existing in possibility, not in actuality.


We have a tendency to rely on our potential to go on about life and not doing anything about it...we know we have it,and sometimes we decided to ignore it! The possibilities to our potential are endless,"it" exists for a reason,right? So why not take full advantage of it? I'm at a point in my life where I'm posing myself these questions. You can call me whatever you want,but I'm the type of person that can do whatever she wants,If I put my heart and BRAIN to it. And I will,no worries mana!ahahahaha!

So when does potential become a problem? When we try to force other people to see their potential,or to see themselves the way we see them,or the way we want them to be.

For example,Imagine your best friend,you know the guy could be a doctor,but he's not studying or making an effort to use his intelligence,your sister could be a great astronaut but she decides to go live in Paris with her broke-ass artist boyfriend,what are you suposed to do?Advise them,but don't obsess over it! It is their potential,not yours!

Many times people decide to ignore what they could become!

Don't you think Hitler had the potential to be a good man?But he chose to be a creepy bastard!He wasn't born that way! Don't you think our Prime Minister (Portugal) could've studied for real and have his diploma the hard way?But instead he chose to be shady,just like the rest of 'em...Well,my point is don't force your views on others,they'll come to their own conclusions,eventually.

Focus and explore your potential,and be the Best you can. I am about to do that,nothing can stop me anymore.

Erase and fast forward!

"He did it,and erased it,he did it ,and erased it,he did it,and erased it so many times,he didn't even have a personality anymore...
-Why did you erase it?-his friend curiosly asked.
-Because I don't want anyone to find out.
-To find out what?
-The person that I am,and who I'm dealing with!
-Hmmm...so you don't own your decisions,do you?
-In some ways I do!
-What ways?You can't even show people your real face,your real personality...why are you hiding?
-Ok..I'll tell you the truth...Because of Her!
-Oh...Her!But you don't even like her anymore,so what's the point?
-I don't want Her to know I found somebody else and I'm willing to be with this person.
-I don't understand you man,you should just tell Her and move on.
-I just can't erase and fast forward like that...
-Coward!"

quote:"I didn't see it...but I feel it!"

Nirvana-Dumb

I'm not like them
But i can pretend
The sun has gone
But i have a light
The day is done
But i'm having fun
I think i'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think i'm just happy
Think i'm just happy
Think i'm just happy

My heart is broken
But i have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll fall down

And have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover

Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up

I'm not like them
But i can pretend
The sun has gone
But i have a light
The day is done
But i'm having fun
I think i'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think i'm just happy
Think i'm just happy
Think i'm just happy

I think i'm dumb
I think i'm dumb

A perfect Circle-Three Libras

Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back,
A name in your recollection down among the millions there:
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed,
And passed over
But I look right through see you naked but oblivious...
But you don't see me
But I threw you the obvious just to see if
There was more behind
The eyes of a fallen angel eyes of a tragedy
Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded
But I see, see through it all
See through
See you
Cause I threw you the obvious to see what occurs behind
The eyes of a fallen angel eyes of a tragedy oh well
Oh well apparently nothing apparently
Nothing at all
You don't see me
You don't see me at all

Now that the "heat" is gone.

I was going through some of my old e-mails tonight and I came across this phrase:

" I refuse to argue about a guy,because a guy who puts me in that position,certainly doesn't deserve me!" -when I wrote these words,I truly felt it,but now more than ever they make sense to me. Sometimes we need to let the situations "breathe" to be able to evaluate what's best for us.

With guys,I've had girls lie to my face,I've had some who pretend nothing happened,I've had some asking me personal question so they can talk about my life,and in the end I hope they learned something...to Respectme,and to Respect themselves above all. Because most of the times,I chose to pretend I don't know what's happening because at this point it's irrelevant,because when you confront someone with facts and they are totally in denial,what can you do?

I'm not fake and I don't play games,some of you are probably thinking "Well,if it's not relevant ,why is she writing about it?"-because I always do what I feel like,and I know that there are some people out there going through what I've been through,and this is me sharing.
Even though people will lie to you,cheat on you,be fake to you,whatever...turn the other cheek,and prove to them that you really ARE different,and that they have the potential to be like you or better,and leave all the bullshit aside...Have in mind though that some people don't change,they are what they are,and in those cases if you turned the other cheek and they still acted disrespectful ,I sugest you turn your butt cheeks to 'em,and say : EAT MY SHORTS MOTHERFUCKER!*


*another way to say kiss my ass or suck my dick

Surprise!

I just got to San Francisco,I'm extremely tired,but I had a good travelling day!
When I got to my bedroom,I saw this cute box on the desk,with an envelope with my name in it... It was a box of white chocolate (which I love)!

How Amazing!?

I may like surprises after all... =)

Thank you!

? =)

Yesterday, for the first time in 8 years of travelling I forgot something very important at home: MY WALLET!!!! Luckily a family member brought it to the airport on time.

Today,after a well slept night,I decided to eat a bacon ,egg and cheese,I removed the egg and bacon from the frying pan,and just left the flame on,(on low),for like 3 or 4 hours.

Tomorrow.... ? =)

Ana needs some rest. =P

Excerto de Caim....

"(...)se ca' cheguei foi por um milagre do senhor,Tarde,disse caim,Vale mais tarde que nunca,respondeu o anjo com prosapia,como se tivesse acabado de enunciar uma verdade primeira,Enganas-te,nunca nao e' o contrario de tarde,o contrario de tarde e' demasiado tarde,respondeu-lhe caim,(...)"

How late is too late?

A special kind of Light.

That night she only put one pillow in the bed,she was exausted. Usually she would put two...some weird ritual that gave her security.

That night she fell asleep in fetal position,and she woke up sideways.

That night she went to bed,and didn't think about anything...when she opened her eyes,she saw it! That special kind of Light that is only available in a Winter cold day,and it was coming from everywhere...she said out loud "Wow!I'm so Lucky."

Everything is a sign! No matter the circunstances,everything changes,eventually.

Back home...

I missed being here,where I belong!

Everything is so different...I got all this new Vibes from the moment I landed,and when I got home I got the confirmation,there's nothing missing!Not in the sense of not being robbed or anything...its more like everything is happening at the right timing,and I don't have to miss what I don't have.
If life is going this way,its because it has to go this way. Everything is perfect the way it is,and I can only appreciate the fact that I'm alive to witness all this changes in mine and my friends lives!

I'm gonna cherish every second of it,bad,good,whatever...It is what it is...

p.s- The most beautiful words I heard today were "Parler moi de toi..."-were these words directed to me? I don't know...Let's see what tomorrow brings. =)

Wild World-Cat Stevens

Now that I've lost everything to you,
you say you want to start something new,
and it's breaking my heart you're leaving,
baby I'm grieving.

But if you wanna leave take good care,
hope you have a lot of nice things to wear,
but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there.

Oh baby baby it's a wild world,
it's hard to get by just upon a smile.
Oh baby baby it's a wild world.

I'll always remember you like a child, girl.
You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do,
and it's breaking my heart in two,
cause I never want to see you sad girl,
don't be a bad girl,
but if you want to leave take good care,
hope you make a lot of nice friends out there,
but just remember there's a lot of bad and beware,
beware,

Oh baby baby it's a wild world,
it's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh baby baby it's a wild world,
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl.

Baby I love you, but if you wanna leave take good care,
hope you make a lot of nice friends out there,
but just remember there's a lot of bad,
and beware, beware,

oh baby baby it's a wild world,
it's hard to get by just upon a smile.
Oh baby baby it's a wild world,
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl.

A year...

365.2425 days = 52.1775 weeks = 8,765.82 hours =
525,949.2 minutes = 31,556,952 seconds

How much can we learn in this time?

What I think...

I feel good! It's Amazing to open your eyes in the morning and to think: "I feel Good!"-my health is good,people around me are Happy,work is flowing,life's good!

I want to feel like this everyday,but I'm aware that it's impossible! There are ups and down in our lives,that really mess with our heads...I was the kind of person that made decisions out of my emotions(my friends know,sorry y'all,lol),and usually 2,3 days after,I regreted it...So starting today I decided to have a different approach to life in general,I owe it to myself.

I want to be able to think about the subjects,feel what i have to feel,and then make a decision,of course it will be hard as Hell, but today I made one of those decisions with a clear head and I think it will last because of that! MY MIND IS CLEAR! and I'm not Mad at the World at all...Life is,what it is,and guess what? LIFE IS TODAY!!! Like my friend Erik says:"If it hurts,it means we're alive!"

Here is SGI President Ikeda's recent guidance:

--TO MY FRIENDS--

"Those who strongly resolve to themselves,"I will absolutely win!"are the ones who will emerge victors.
Those who continue to struggle until the very last moment without giving up will win.
Let's all become indomitable heroes of the challenging spirit"

I challenge myself to become a better person!

Sitting on The Dock Of The Bay

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Where is Ana Sofia?

Have you seen her?...Yeah,I did! Last night,I picked her up,we went for coffe with friends,and then I dropped her off.-Did she seem ok? Of course she did!She always does,you know?the usual: cracking jokes, always the "class clown"!

And then?

Then what?! You tell me!

What next?

7.30am- woke up from a "Crazy" pleasant dream- I wanted it...

11.30am-woke for the second time "Crazy dream part II"-still wanted it

1.30pm-Got out of bed-didn't want it.

4.30pm-phone in hand,ready to do something crazy!-wasn't sure if I wanted it.

5.05pm-7.00-forgot about it!

7.02pm-00.20am- totally out of my mind,it's ridiculous how much I THINK I want it,but when I IMAGINE IT happening...I kinda can't imagine it...funny? maybe for some,crazy? TOTALLY!

Will I be over it once I wake up? Hell Yeah! Will I regret even considering it?...Absolutely...NOT!

I feel what I feel.

xo

Traveling =)

Next Stop:

Nyc- Saturday

San Francisco- Monday thru Wednesday

Nyc- Thursday

I miss my City,my tiny ass apartment,my friends,and just living the Life <3

See y'all later!

"Tuesday night"-by Ana Sofia Martins

"-When did we have plans for dinner?-she asked.
-I sugested Tuesday night,but you said you had plans,remember?-he answered.
-Mmmm...Couldn't you tell I was making it up? I was avoiding you...
-I figured,you had a tendency to run away from me,because we couldn't resist each other.
-Do you know how badly I wanted to go?
-No...I had no idea,since you never called me again!Why didn't you?
-There was nothing I wished more than to spend the night with you,going for dinner to that little restaurant your friend told you about,remember?The one nearby the Red Light District...maybe a bar later,and then God knows what...but I had to fight my nature.
-You always cheated on yourself baby...you always fought the love you had for me,you never allowed it to grow!It made me so mad at you!
-I had to...our circunstances weren't the best,you went your way I went mine, we couldn't even be friends,due to the intensity of the passion,love,atraction we had to each other,I wish it would have been different.
-From the day you stopped calling me 10 years ago,I looked at you diferently...
-How?
-You had this unatainable light around you,you always seemed fine,when I saw you in public,you were always surronded by best of the best...I felt lonely,I still...
She imediately interrupts him:
-So,how are your kids?
-They are fine...How's life in the Big City?
-It's great...well,I have to go.Would you like some tickets to the Premiere tomorrow night?
-A friend already got me some...Where did we go wrong?
-We didn't!Time got in the way.

They hug each other by the bar bathroom,and go their separate ways."

It ain't easy...

Obsession-1.Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2.A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

I am forced to agree more with the second definition. It is so hard to admit that we're obsessed with something,because the word "obsession" has such a strong conotation,and often is associated with being a "loony".
At different stages of our lifes we are going to be faced with being obsessed with something,when we're kids -our toys! when we are teens-our friends! when we become adults-someone! when we get to middle age-with being younger...and so on!

The one that I hate the most, is being obsessed with someone,because besides being creepy it makes you lose time...you may find yourself,in the middle of the night,with your cell phone in hand,typing "If you can't say no,just think about me...",than you realize how fucking ridiculous you are,delete the whole thing,and go write in your blog instead...LOL!(jk) But really...if we are wasting our precious seconds,minutes and hours obsessing over someone,its time we could be investing in something more productive.


I'm trying to focus on myself now,starting by changing some really silly patterns that I've been living in for almost a year,it's not easy,but it possible...there's something that gets me going forward...self-respect! And this time,I will do it,for real!

In the "end",I will let y'all know the results...right now if I had a cell phone in hand,I would type "If you can't say no,say yes...then cry about it."

'Till next time. =)

Day I

My world it moves so fast today
The past it seems so far away
And I squeeze it so tight, I can't breathe
And every time I try to be
What someone has thought of me
So caught up, I wasn't able to acheive
But deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
I look at my environment
And wonder where the fire went
What happened to everything we used to be
I hear so many cry for help
Searching outside of themselves
Now I know His strength is within me
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny-by Lauryn Hill


I'm ready to face the World... =)