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WARNING: You'll probably see many contradictions here...that's just me being me!
Friday, March 5, 2010
This morning I woke up in the airplane thinking about a great question,Compassion & Indifference are these two things compatible?
I am a very compassionate person, but I'm still learning to deal with different feelings for different people. For example some people have become close to indifferent in my life,not totally but close...and everybody says:" If you're forcing this indifference it's because you still feel something for them"-well I've tried to explain many times that I'm not forcing shit,it just so happens that you live and you learn,and then you know better. But,lately I also feel compassion for some people who were getting close to nothing in "my book" , they are what they are and if they are happy with themselves I can't help but being happy for them,and if they've done me wrong at some point in their lifes,its because they didn't know any better,so that's where my compassion comes and shows its face. Right now,here's my equation:
Indifference----------> ME <-------------------Compassion
I'm totally in between,and I know that the "perfect way of feeling" is just to feel compassionate, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite to the point where I'm going to lie to myself that I'm so ready to make amends and to be a "perfect human being",one day it will happen,I will look back and feel compassion for everybody,but there's no rush...I'm letting go of the person that I was,to become who I will be...take me as I am,flaws and all or...don't. That's fine too.
What you see,is what you get,that's my perfect equation.